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perisie xx
just stuff i wrote on tl the other day, saving it here





1. By being rational, more perceptive, aware, thoughtful, introspective, you are able to increasingly forward your own wellbeing and mind. You do this by flexing the metaphorical muscle that is, what i label, your "state 1" of two states of being. the state of being aware and thoughtful of everything around and yourself. (think "ego")

2. You also do this by understanding and reducing your emotions and automatic responses, your unthinking and spontaenious self, unconscious self, what i call a persons "state 2" of their two states of being. (think "ID"+"superego")

3. When people collectively realise this, they can work together and eventually form an ultimate unification of perfect beings at peace.

4. This is perhaps "nirvana" or "heaven".

5. Every body within it has assumed an identicle identity. They all agree and there is no emotion or confusion to mar their "state 1" mind. The "state 2" of being has been evaporated, left behind.

6. This one unified entity must have personality traits

7. (for you to think of)






im too exhausted to fully comprehend but there are various ways to look at this ("Games People Play" and freud ego thing, as i updated my op with)

read "the celestine prophecy experimental guide" and it explains it from your perspective (i had to work backwards).

to begin with it obsesses with "coincidences", how strange they seem yet frequent. then it teaches that coincidences "happen for a reason". this sounds all nonsense mystical to me at first, then you realise the only point he's making is that if you stop to think about sometime, analyse it, you can discover a world of truth behind it, which leads to further psychological concepts.

i think he uses coincidence as a starting point because coincidences are just "items of interest" that stand out and CAN be analysed in an interesting fashion. infact, every single thing that you can observe can have an immense amount of meaning, theory etc behind it.

this sounds obvious, but until you really start to think about things, perhaps "items of interest", you don't notice how much analytical thought can bring you. and when you do start to realise, you realise you're becoming an explorer in a hugely complex and dynamic world.

the increasing number of things you notice, and your growing ability to analyse them, can bring so much to your life.

have you ever considered that your coworker asked you to finish off a job that they could/should have done? (something trivial like bringing a client a cup of tea they had just made). why did they do that? how is their ego (or preferably "state 1") thinking? is it a habit? do they only do it to you? how can you learn from it? do they target you specifically? if so, what can you learn about yourself? what can you learn about that other person? where did they learn this trait from? who is their rolemodel? was it a conscious decision on their behalf or has it become a habit? what other devious traits such as this do people around you, or yourself, engage in?

you start linking things together. you start wondering a whole lot more. you pay more attention. perhaps you use the information to your advantage.

but it doesn't end here. you notice emotions in other people, you notice how other people make the wrong choices. how they are emotional, or how they "slip" into their reactionary, automatic state of mind. you notice fawlts in others and in yourself, and you can begin to learn from them, link them together, to change many aspects of your being.

this might help to clarify between what i label "state 1" and "state 2", how the introspective "state 1" is like a flexing muscle that we need to practice with lest we slip back into our base "state 2" and become emotional, habitual and unthinking.

you might be afraid when you look around you and suddenly notice just how differently people think to one another. is she using her brain? why is she making different decisions to me? which one of us is the more rational? is she flexing her "state 1" or is she in the laziness of "state 2"? how can i know???

you might get courage from this curiosity, allowing you to confront people (coworkers good example) more readily on their actions, conflicts, point out that they are being emotional and YET be COMFORTABLE pointing this out to them because it is simply a rational observation you are throwing out for discussion and that you are an adventurer on the path to enlightenment.
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perisie xx
and stuff i didnt write



 NaejeOn-X17   September 25 2008 22:42. Posts 13 PM Profile Quote
One time i was in class and i was laughing realy hard and i farted on accident and pooh came out all ova my desk. No one knew this until i got up and a big brown spot was left on my seat. They all smelled it and said "whats that fucken smell!" one kid threw a paper ball at me and said "ITS STARCRAFT BOY! HAHA"! and i ran out the class room wit brown shit all ova my desk
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perisie xx
 Savio   United States. September 26 2008 04:38. Posts 509 PM Profile Quote
So, have you ever had one of those runny noses where you can literally "fill" up 3 kleenexes like little bowls in your hand when you blow your nose? Well I had one of those.

I was in 7th grade and way tiny for my age. All the other kids were bigger, stronger, and cooler than me. There were a bunch of tough cowboys who would clear their nose of boogers by plugging one side up with their thumb and then launching them out with a quick blow. No kleenex or anything...and it looked cool.

Well, during passing period, I got the bright idea that I could look cool and strong too by clearing my nose on the ground in the "cowboy" technique.

So I clogged the nostril, and as I blew, this solid tube of snot just shot out of my nose and kept getting longer till it was like over a foot long. Then it just hung there....
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perisie xx
SnowFantasy   United States. September 26 2008 11:33. Posts 1375 PM Profile Blog Quote
I got kicked out of the Nintendo club for bringing a Sony PSP to school.
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perisie xx
dm47   September 28 2008 10:59. Posts 14 PM Profile Quote
K i got a good one, but it's from sunday school (i'm going to hell).

To put things in context, this all happened from the ages of 4-6.

Anyways, I was a pretty perverted kid when I was little, and there was this girl in my sunday school class who didn't really care about experimenting (letting me take her clothes off, etc.). Mind you, at the time I didn't think i was perverted, I was just interested i think. And I can't remember ever getting a bonar.

Anyways, what I first did, was touch her under this big cradle/bed they had there. It looked like this...

- Hide Spoiler -
[image loading]


So there was room to sleep on the top but two cavern like things on the bottom. So we would go in there and one thing led to another and I wanted to see what her stuff looked like down there so I asked her and she took her pants off.

So then pretty much every sunday for 2 years we would go to the bathroom together. And they didn't really care cuz there was other stuff in the bathroom besides the toilet, like animal crackers and stuff so if we went in there it didn't matter. So once we got in there I asked her to take her pants off and she always did, and I would feel what she had, like usual. Sometimes she would ask me to take my pants off but I always told her that I was shy and that I didn't want to. And she was ok with that.

So basically this went on until she graduated from that pre-sunday school class (she was older than me) and moved up to a slightly more mature one for little kids.

So here comes the awkward part...

Around 4-5 years later (she still went to my church and my school) I saw her at church and we got to talking about some stuff (I think it was at night at some event). So we were alone for a while and talked about who we liked and what not, and I was like "Hey, do you remember when I used to touch you in pre-sunday school class? lol that was weird. haha"








SHE DIDN'T REMEMBER

So, thinking I had to cover for myself, I explained the entire story to her, and said that it wasn't a big deal cuz we were both kids. After I finished, she started crying, got up and left.

We honestly never spoke from that point on, even up to her high school graduation.

So i guess, in retrospect, I can honestly say that I've fondled a small child.
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 Suggestion Box   China. November 08 2008 07:43. Posts 113 PM Profile Blog Quote
That's what I meant. MTV leads them astray, from their bullshit upbringing as superstitious bigots. And that MTV problem, well we will worry about that in 2 generations, when bigotry is a thing of the past, and we are all horribly stupid no matter what we don't believe in.
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perisie xx
Suggestion Box   China. November 04 2008 11:51. Posts 113

And if you don't like my post, you can flame my mother too.
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perisie xx
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 Beat: Busto and my Girl Wont Stake Me
I am feeling so empty right now—my girl won’t give me any cash, (she says she’s broke) she’s a liar ..a fat liar her dad can go **** a barnyard animal. He hates me cus im a poker player and im ”no good for his daughter” im like shes no good for me cant u see how fat she is and how fat she will become? Shut him right up, plus I said if he didn’t treat me nicer I would talk her into leaving his fat ass in this state, then who’s gonna take his sheep to market????? Ahahahahah. OWNED.

Cus my g/f is pregnant she thinks she can order me around??? Im like no bitch, go get your own ******g pickles. What kinda psycho-hose-beast wants a ****ing pickle. Shes like “awww, but ive got a craving, then bursts into tears im like WTF don’t try that **** on me, my father never hugged me. Im like look, gimmie $75 so I can get us back living the high life ON FT, shes like whats FT, im like “SAY IM A STUPID BITCH” shes like “I hate you...i hate you...i ha” then she did this weird grunt fell over sideways on the couch and did this really loud sobs that bellowed out into the house. I was thinking she sounded like a water buffalo or perhaps a hittototamus but I didn’t want to make her more mad until I had got me a bankroll (atleast 25nl im not playing with the crotch monkeys) So Im like just give me 300 for poker and through her tears and red eyes shes like thats how we ended up in this mess we aren’t even gonna be able to afford formula when the baby comes im like but you have big tits and can breast feed till the baby is old enough to eat spaghetti...she started blubbing again, she said I can have 25 but thats all she got, im like WTF cant do **** with 25, shes like thats all I got im like **** you then i’ll make my own money and sell some body organs, so I go google that Shi* (apparently cant sell eyes but check this shi* out...

After reading yesterday's Herald on the call by a Canberra specialist to legalise the sale of kidneys in Australia, Mr Gill, 44, called the paper, seeking to place an advertisement for one of his kidneys for $50,000.

IM like whoaaaa, thats nosebleeds, noseeeeeeebleeds and I start getting excited and my girl asks whats the fuss, im like don’t talk to me while I play poker. So a bad day turned out quite good, hopefully will have 50k soon,and finally have a roll I can be proud of..i went upstairs about 4am and my girl was snoring but I tried my luck she was like EWWWWWWWWWWWWWw U stink just cus I aintt showered in mad long she said I smell “musty” Im like you should smell your pu**y. I went to sleep with grind on the mind
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STIMEY D OKGM FISH
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lol that busto story can't be serious.  it's hillarious though

btw linking me to myself is dangerous.  i can't stop reading shit i've written.  i'm so good.  i must need a therapist because i am so proud of my work sometimes.  i'm like a great artist that no one seems to know about until after he's dead.  i bet the world has more of these than we realize.  like, it's probably a very common thing.  most are never discovered or appreciated or digested or whatever you call it by the masses.  they are sometimes, rarely, used as a device, to push forth some propaganda onto the masses.  but what does it matter whether i achieve that status or not?  they'll never see it like i did.  never never never.
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perisie xx
you undersell yourself , and a problem is that you need more stimulation than you're getting. there are many hundreds of "big blogs" which have a huge fanbase who leave comments and appreciation. it might be that those blogs are able to "start off" because their authors have a specific skill (for example they draw anime or talk specifically about science) and can therefore attract a crowd more easily.

maddox is an example of someone who had a broad target (he blogs about a variety of random things) but still became successful . how did maddox rise to fame? he used a specific style of comedy that is very accessible and attractive to the masses.

perhaps if you developed a specific quirk, or focused on a specific subject matter, which appeal to the masses, then you could spark off a mass following. (this in turn would motivate/stimulate you).

you could i suppose go the maddox way ("stimey is always right"). i'm not positive a blog is truely the right path for you though, since blogging reduces interactivity, open debate etc.

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STIMEY D OKGM FISH
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I don't think becoming and internet meme like maddox is something you can just set out to do and achieve.  I think that market is saturated really, and I am not connected enough to... whatever... to understand that kind of audience.  The shit I want to explain is not enjoyable to others, and the shit I want to bitch about is obscure.

I think the closest thing would be mitsy's "Ask a Genius" topic.  If there was really enough demand for the kind of bullshit I poured out into that thread, then that would be a solid skeleton for an ongoing feature.  I don't think there is, though.  So I think I want to branch into video but it's completely new to me so it will probably be years before I'm effective.  I would like to feature text but there isn't really an audience for what I do in text.
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perisie xx
i think 1-3 days ago i had the brief thought for some reason that "women can't comprehend creativity in the way that men do". i think this had something to do with the way that men are much more "visual" than women. trying to describe to a woman what male sexuality (visual) is like would involve saying things like "you know like paris hilton, right, she looks cool and glamerous and stuff right? you think shes cool yeh? well men think all women are "cool" in the same way, simply by their feminine appearance. we "like" women, thinkt heyre "cool", because they have maybe long hair, or a pretty smile. " i dunno, imagine a stronger example then extend this theory to non sexual things that require vision to fully understand (forms of creativity)

anyway, i just read this on TL:

http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=85653¤tpage=5

  ForVengeance   United States. January 09 2009 15:24. Posts 110 PM Profile Quote
I dont want to tell people what to think/feel, but keep in mind that scientists have shown that the first 1-3 years are the times when the human brain releases high amounts of the endorphin associated with the feeling of being in love. After that time its natural that those levels of endorphins start to decline. This happens so that the partners have to form a stronger bond, proving that they can stay together and give their offspring a greater chance of survival. So all of you out there with under 3 years with a girl consider this fact as to why it isnt a bitch yet.

I have known at least 15 or so couples that were "soulmates" until the 3 year mark then split up, so it really solidifies that research in my mind.

I always have to remind myself when i think about chicks, do they like ME, or do they see in me something they can use for their own benefit? Then i think about all the things i like/find interesting... does she like/understand those things? Hell no she doesnt even know the basics of the things i do. She lacks the ability to see what is brilliant in the things i find interesting. So how could she possibly truly respect my taste? She cant. All she can do is fake interest so that i "like" her. So basically i cant trust her because shes a faker. Further into this point, women cant tell what is brilliant art. They really cant tell one level of execution from the next. A masterpiece is no different than the work of some hack. All they know is what you can "do" with that art/creation. They cant tell a complex pattern from a simple one. All they can do is think "this is worth something to the world" or "you could sell this". Basically a woman respects men who shove themselves into the race of life more than ones who are skilled and highly intelligent but who dont throw themselves into the race.

In short; they will never read into the meaning of your skilled writing, they will say "wow you should become a famous writer". They will never say "wow, you really made the bridge of that song you wrote contrast well with the choruses", she will say "are you going to play shows or put out a cd to sell?" etc etc. They dont respect WHAT you do as far as content or quality, it HOW you use that skill to make money and impress the world that matters to her.

Nothing has made me more disappointed and jumpstarted my loss of innocence than the realization that intelligent and highly creative men have no chance of finding a woman who truly, TRULY understands what he is really about and what he has really done with his mind. Sometimes i wish i was just some dumb armchair quarterback average joe so that i didnt need my girl to have a brain, but i do.


(he posts more in the thread)
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STIMEY D OKGM FISH
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I think there's some truth in what he's talking about, although both men and women vary, probably to the extent that the ranges of the two overlap.  So it's a little unfair to assume that the "women" he talks about means all women, the "men" he speaks of applying to all men, etc.  All he's talking about is what is most common--and pretty much everything that sucks--philistinism for instance, is most common in both genders.  I think he's writing from the perspective of what he takes to be an exceptional male, and has found that many females do not understand him.  That doesn't mean there aren't some females out there as rare as him, who are capable of the things he's talking about.

That being said, I think there are certainly trends to the male and the female personalities that can differentiate them, especially within a specific culture where part of it is the result of culture and not really their biologically given sex.  I think he is right that there is kind of a "male way" and a "female way"--generally speaking.  But you have to be careful, because in this same way there can also be a "black way" and a "white way"--there are, if you go with trends, genetic trends and cultural trends between the two groups.  But we like to think making such an observation is unfair, false, and artificial.  It's not that much more of a stretch than sex though, though the sexes clearly have more years of biological separation by a ridiculous amount.  The point here is that cultures are different and each sex, like each "race", has a slightly different typical cultural influence.  In fact, so does each individual.

Statistically his own experience is not enough to support his hypothesis.  He would need many, many more women to be sure it's not just coincidence that his own tests have shown him this.

This isn't the interesting response to this, just a small reality check.


I think the 1-3 years thing, is probably true; I've heard the same thing and it probably can be cited somewhere--I wouldn't be surprised.  I think such feelings motivate to bring people together, to see the best in eachother and care enough to learn how to appreciate eachother in unique ways, etc.  You can form a deep friendship thanks, maybe, to the effect of the initial "love."  But "love" can mean more than that--people who stay together longer, much much longer, call what they are doing "love" also.

Many people have been taught that the feeling of love is what you should be after, and if not, all those lame metaphors that rationalize and teach people about love.  They are the myths that make cultures mate and raise families even more than biology by itself does it, perhaps--the ones that spread our ideas as opposed to others.  People should realize that these kinds of thoughts about romantic love are only hundreds of years old and have little validity to them--sentimentalism has run rampant in this topic for some reason.  I think people who try to pursue an everlasting feeling of that initial 1-3 years are just mistaken.  You are better to not love at all than to try to do that.  Better to learn to live with yourself--if you cannot use that 1-3 years to learn to live with someone else and choose it over what you are by yourself.

Many people don't know what they are by themselves enough to really value what another person changes--even a person who does not see everything the way you do, etc.  A relationship that isn't simply riding the biochemical bias, but is based on real person to person respect and interest and cooperation--should have the kind of difficulties he's describing.  People are different from eachother, and maybe males and females typically moreso.  Maybe the writer you quoted would be happier seeking out a relationship within his own gender.

If you want a real, person to person, relationship with a "different" gender, you have to accept that you aren't clones of eachother, and that all your disagreements aren't instances where you're right and she's wrong--you have to be okay with disagreeing and just accepting that as a fact--with not understanding some part and accepting it as a fact, like the fact that you can't fly.  In your writers' case, she doesn't really care about or understand "what you do"--do you care and understand "what she does" in the way she does?  If you disrespect their entire life, and their entire understanding of yours--that's horrible.  Find it unintelligible, but don't assume it's rubbish or you have no relationship at all.  And this guy is assuming that this situation he describes must be the way it is between all men and women.  There have to be exceptions.  But where he is right is that people should think critically about their assumptions--why do they need to find someone in the opposite sex who will put out and also understand everything that is important to them?  Where in biology or history do you think that this is something we ought to all seek out?  Why do we think this is possible or true?

Growing together with someone is simply different--than being alone.  Maybe you can't be sure which choice is right.  But thinking that it's not what you wish it was, and concluding it's impossible to be what you think it should, are simply responses to facing difficulty--not acquisition of knowledge.
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STIMEY D OKGM FISH
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ForVengence wrote:  "Co-dependence is not love. Love doesnt even exist its just two creatures high on the fact that they think theyve found someone to fuck "forever". Did you know genes arent even human? They arent even alive theyre like a parasite that uses human body to replicate. All your urges to meet a girl are fueled by the genes will to replicate itself. The whole reason you have instincts at all to do so are because of it.

Yay for genes"


And the response was "I would also like to point out one that i personally ( can't speak for other TL members since i have yet to see a post regarding this specific part of yours( yours being the one i am going to refer to ) did not appreciate the unsubstantiated and that is the last part about genes and how they aren't human etc.. here you imply the idea that the only reason ( with the exception of a platonic one) we have relationships is because of our primal necessity to reproduce, well this is not the case,
I.E gay people, and the use of contraceptive methods.
I have a feeling this part was an emotional add-on used to make little of relationships in general, but i never the less disagree with it's inclusion in the post."



I think this response is wrong.  Clearly if we took away the clear evolutionary biases behind our behaviors many pillars of the "romantic relationship" would simply never occur.  Homosexual "love" doesn't disprove this--it is most likely an "alternate way" of the same drives playing out.  Take those drives away, which come from genes not some high soul personality thing, and it's not left.  We know chemicals make people feel/think this way, and our genes release them at the right moments.  Q.E.D.  Something else to think about.

As for ForV.'s views, I think it would be interesting to note that the ways men and women are typically stupid are quite different.  Whether one sex is more likely to overcome this than the other, well who cares about statistics anyways...
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perisie xx
guy got perm banned btw, reason "i dont like him"
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=32696¤tpage=132
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STIMEY D OKGM FISH
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Not only that, Mani mocks the guy after banning him.

Looks like Mani is back to his old embarrassing tricks of claiming to be superior to people that aren't allowed to answer back.

I guess he'll never learn that the forums are fucking worthless if they are restricted to only people he personally likes.  And furthermore, if every mod acts like this, then the forum will have even less.  If every mod starts banning anyone they don't like, you're going to be left with the most worthless forum ever.  No real discussions will ever take place because no one will be left but the most vapid brownnosers.

Seriously Mani, you pick on people like this, but you don't give them a chance to answer.  It reminds me of how he said how he would easily defeat me in an argument, but then he makes that impossible and to this day has not came here or anywhere where it would be possible for us to have a real debate.  He talks down to people like this, but at the same time I don't see him backing up his big words with one ounce of risk being in the same arena as them.

And if these people are so low why does he need to bother making fun of them and threatening them, only to make it impossible for them to respond to his boasts?  Only to use his moderation privileges to make it impossible to test his boasts?  He acts like this big high and mighty intellectual but he is "too busy" to back up his boasts.  He only has time to abuse his moderation privledges to victimize people beneath him--how nice.

If his intellectual pedigree is so great, why is his response to ForVengence, in addition to a simple use of force to shut the guy down, a simple ad hominem attack--calling for us to not listen to ForVengence's words but instead to psychoanalyze him (something the 10 commandments of TL rightfully point out as counterproductive and fucking stupid).  Is Mani a qualified psychoanalyst?